Feel the fear and do it anyway

It almost certainly won't be as bad as you think

I've jumped on the cold-dipping trend in the last two years and am often up at 5.30am in a little tub in my garden. Yes, I am one of those people. Recently I got to cold dip in much more pleasant surroundings - the wonderful Paus retreat in Cambridge. I attended a Wim Hof Experience Day, led by a certified Wim Hof Instructor who guided us through the practical and psychological challenges of exposing your body to extreme cold. We then got to try it out. I bloody loved it.

The water in this tub was 3 degrees celsius

I always experience some internal fear and resistance before stepping into the cold water but, the more I've done it, the more confidence I have that it will be ok.

I’ve noticed 2 lessons from this that I take into other areas of life and work. Firstly, we have the power to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. Secondly, we can build up resilience for tough things just by doing them.

Rewriting the stories we tell ourselves

When you step into cold water you may be telling yourself, “I’m going to die” or, “This is going to be unbearable”. That story is a collection of feelings and judgements that aren’t rooted in data about what will actually happen. We have the power to re-write that story to something different. Perhaps, “I can handle this” or, “This will make me live longer”. The new story is the opposite of what you feared.

Back in a work context, fear may rear its head when it comes to presenting, making a sales call, or running a team meeting. The story is often, “I can’t do this” or, “People will judge me badly”. It’s useful to identify (accurately) what is Data vs. Judgements vs. Feelings. Is there any data to suggest that you ‘can’t do this’ or, in fact, is there data to evidence that you have done similar things before and lived to tell the tale? If you realise that your story is based in judgements and feelings, you can reframe it and choose a new story. What if the opposite were true?

One of my favourite leadership books is The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership. Commitment 10 is “Exploring the Opposite”. This involves recognising that it’s not the issue that causes pain, but our interpretation of it. The labels we attach to situations belong to us, not the situation, and they determine how we experience things. Commitment 10 is:

I commit to seeing that the opposite of my story is as true as or truer than my original story. I recognise that I interpret the world around me and give my stories meaning

You may want to ask yourself, is it true? Can you be absolutely certain that it’s true? How do you react when you believe the thought? How would it be if the opposite were true? This process could help you step over the threshold and do the thing that you are afraid of.

Keep doing tough things and they get easier

As I’ve repeatedly exposed myself to cold water, I’ve noticed that I’ve built up a tolerance for it. My brain doesn’t shout so loudly that I need to be scared, and so it’s become easier.

This approach applies to the things that scare me at work as well. The more I do them, the less scary they become. The emotions flatten and become less dominating.

This short video is me talking about the power of building habits to overcome your fear of doing something and move it into routine. I use the example of ‘picking up the phone’ because that’s a challenge for me. Stick me at the front of a room of 30 people to run a training course and I’m in my element, but ask me to call one person on the phone and I’ll find all the excuses to avoid it! Feel free to substitute the ‘challenge’ with something that is helpful for you.

This is all about giving yourself a nudge to do something that scares you, then noticing that it (usually) wasn’t as bad as you feared.

So, if there's something you're sitting on - not doing because of some resistance - I encourage you to just do it once. Make that Sales call. Take the lead in that meeting. Ask the stupid question. And after that, chances are you'll feel more confident the next time.

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